Six months after Cameroon
I was prompted to write this after I read the following poem posted by a fellow VSO volunteer.
I knew her in my time in Cameroon but she has only just finished her placement.
I will never see a plant
Nor a flower
Grow
From this barren ground
Despite my tears.As I was filling-up my suitcase,
I realized how many masks you have given me -
Masks that made me smile,
Masks that hid my tears,
Masks that shielded my fears.I will leave them all behind -
All these masks
I wore
Because of you.I didn’t leave a kiss,
An embrace
Nor a note
To say goodbye.I am scared
That once you know of
My leaving
You will haunt
And hurt me once more.I am so scared
Of you.My fears are now greater
Than my affection for you.I am sorry
For leaving you this way.Bamenda, 11 January 2010
I am living now in Hanoi, Vietnam and loving it.
On Thursday night I play football with an international group of players. Afterwards we head for a small Italian restaurant for beers and a pizza and the chat invariably turns to football. Recently, talking about the upcoming World Cup someone said the word “Cameroon”.
I visibly shuddered.
Like the Filipino VSO volunteer who wrote the poem above I felt guilty about leaving but very happy to be free of Cameroon.
When I lived in Cameroon I used to think..what of all those Cameroonians who have escaped? Why aren’t they pushing for change in their Motherland from the relatively safety of North America and Europe? They seemed in the best position to safely publicise what is happening there and hopefully put pressure on world leaders.
I vowed to write a “Free Cameroon” post that would sit atop of my finished blog. In it I would criticise world leaders and countries who turned a blind eye to what is happening in Cameroon. I would add my tiny voice to the calls for change.
In the end though I did what everyone does. I didn’t just leave. I ran and I didn’t look back.
In the six months since I left, I have settled in Hanoi, met someone, got engaged, and we are to be married in October. Life, despite the usual day to day pressures of simply earning a living, is very very good.
However, I feel like I have failed Cameroon since I left – just as I felt I failed to make any impact while I was there.
Such wonderful people in such a sad country.
In the end what I love most about Vietnam is the optimism. What I found hardest about Cameroon was that there seemed to be neither hope nor ambition beyond simply leaving.
Unfortunately all the volunteers and all the NGOs can’t turn that around.
Tags: cameroon vso
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March 15, 2010 at 10:11 pm
This is quite moving and poignant! I can deduce from the writing that you may not be Cameroonian. However, I am pleased and deeply moved by your interest in Cameroon whether or not you are Cameroonian.Living and going to school in America, I feel the sense of guilt that you have underscored in your article despite the little that I have been able to do to raise awareness about the dire conditions that exist in Cameroon today. The most pressing issue that worries me ( and other Cameroonians) is that the current president, Paul Biya who has been in power for more than 27 years is seeking reelection in 2011.
For the past 3 decades that he has been in power, Cameroon has seen little or no improvements in economic development, job creation, technological innovation, education, scientific research, etc. Rather, unemployment has increased, the number of people living under less than a dollar a day has increased, our towns are decaying and despite all these the government is not undertaking any major projects that can stimulate growth, create jobs, and put Cameroon in the ranks of countries like Rwanda, Angola or Botswana. Why not South Africa and even S. Korea? Instead Cameroon is on a downward spiral. What is worse is that the system is corrupt. Bureaucracy and red tape in the government breeds corruption and discourages local and foreign investors. In China, it takes just a day to start up a business but in Cameroon, it takes months or even a year of paper work plus giving out 10 percents to various corrupt government officials.
The president together with a tiny elite have clung unto power and they use their power to suck the population and the resources of the country dry. They send their children to universities abroad and they take vacations abroad. So they do not even feel the pain that the common man feels. Surely we need change! Change is not the appropriate word to use, we need a revolution from the grassroots level: even though election rigging is common phenomenon in Cameroon, if the population of more than 16 million massively turn out on election day and overwhelmingly vote out Paul Biya, it will be difficult for him to rig. I know this doesn’t seem as easy as it sounds. But what we (Cameroonians in the Diaspora, the educated elite who understand the problems plaguing our society, and every true child of Cameroon) need to do is engage in a massive campaign to sensitize the Cameroonian public and raise public awareness for the need for a change. Then we can hope for the best.
March 16, 2010 at 2:51 am
Blaise, thanks for your comment.
I’ve tried to work out what it is with Cameroon that inspires such lethargy. I can only conclude that it’s the manner of its descent.
The true extent of the damage done by Biya and co has taken decades to unravel. It’s possible that he even came into power with good intentions but as conditions have worsened he has obviously taken the decision to hang on to power by whatever means and to take and take what he can.
This process, over decades, has meant Cameroonians have got used to bad roads and poor hospitals and the increased corruption. It has become a way of life.
But there is more than that – when I was there no one dared by any new clothes or household items because they were all imported from China and they literally wouldn’t last 24 hours.
So people by old secondhand stuff – never asking why they should have to live like that.
The rich, as you say, get out – or they build big places with higher walls because they are scared of rising crime. They don’t go out in the evenings. The fear of crime in Cameroon far outweighs the reality but there is still this feeling of being under siege.
Something needs to be done – you just have to hope it can be peaceful.
May 12, 2010 at 6:27 pm
I think Cameroonians are generally very docile that is why they get a dictatorial regime. They do not want to go to war but they want change.
Biya and his accolyes have taken the advantage that Ccameroonians are naturally peaceful to impose a life style on cameroonians which i fear will backfire soon. He has killed cameroonian, ruined the country together with his french, swiss, world bank accomplices.
The latest of such killing was that of a journalist on April 21, 2010 who was incacerated as he investigation a high level corruption scandal involving some of Biya’s accomplices.